Suspicious Mail

It seems that my blog doesn't please everyone. I recently received a threatening package in the mail, as a blatant attempt to stop me from publicising my frank and open opinions. Sorry Scoble, but it looks like blogging isn't all good.

[I have documented the ensuing investigation here]

Exhibit 1: The Suspect Package, supposedly originating from 'The Looneys.Com World Headquarters.'

Exhibit 2: Suspect Contents of the Suspect Package

Exhibit 3: White Pearlescent Inner Package

Exhibit 3a: Ominous Green Message On White Inner Package. Handwriting experts chilling transliteration: "Thank you! Jason Looney." (believed to be the Jason Looney). Handwriting analysis indicates dangerous psychopathic ruminations.

Exhibit 3b: Curious Numbering: "9". Referred to as 'The Looney Code', this curious message has not yet been unraveled.

Exhibit 4: Brown Cylinder located inside white wrapping

Exhibit 4a: Isometric view of the brown cylnder. Note irregular sides, and some apparent 'melting' of brown material.

Exhibit 5: Introduction of expert tools for performing dissection and materials analysis. Accompanied by 'beverage-like' analysis tool.

Exhibit 6: Investigator notes that at this moment, the suspicious material begins to dissappear

Exhibit 7: Within moments, the suspicious material has completely vanished. Investigation concludes.

Background reading: Jason Looney has caused widespread fear and panic already using his notorious 'snackcakes for links' terror campaign, in which he punished online-publishers for mentioning his website, by sending them threatening snack-cake packages through the mail. It is believed that the incident described above, is the most recent examples of his villainous techniques.

Editor's note: I for one will not be silenced by Jason Looney's predictable scare tactics. I will continue to mention his name, and to send links to his website, without fear of further retributions. I won't back down, even if he instigates a 'box of Krispy Kreme donuts for links' program. His methods must be exposed. Such threats will only make me stronger in my resolve for complete and incorruptible journalistic integrity.

 

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