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Q: Where am I?

A: You're sitting at a computer, reading Leon Bambrick's personal thoughts on programming.

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:35:21 GMT

JSON Query Languages: 5 special purpose editors

A few weeks ago I put out a simple editor for SQLike.

Since then I've researched a bunch of other JSON Query Languages, and created similar editors for each of them.

Here's the full set:

What are they?

Plus, Minus, Interesting

Here's a quick PMI comparison of each of them.

"SQLike"

Thomas Frank's SQLike uses SQL-style JSON for Querying JSON. Try it.

PlusMinusInteresting
  • Most complete join syntax.
  • Uses a SQL metaphor rather than Linq metaphor, hence larger audience
  • Keywords like 'sum' need to be embedded in pipe characters.
  • Function syntax is a little ceremonious (compared to sql)
  • Query is structured as JSON rather than fluidic api

"JsLinq"

Chris Pietschmann's Linq to Javascript (JsLinq) uses Fluent javascript for Querying JSON. Try it.

PlusMinusInteresting
  • Most complete implementation of Linq.
  • Join syntax not as thorough as SQLike(?)
  • The fork at gitHub which targets node.js is by Marak Squires who recently got in trouble for stealing code

"JSinq"

Kai Jaeger's JSinq uses Fluent javascript or linq-like strings for Querying JSON. Try it.

PlusMinusInteresting
  • Includes embedded expression language
  • Separate "create query" and "execute query" steps.
  • Can write queries as a single embedded string rather than pure javascript. :-)
  • Can write queries as a single embedded string rather than pure javascript. :-(
  • Can write queries as a single embedded string rather than pure javascript. (c;

"jLinq"

Hugo Bonacci's JLinq uses Fluent javascript for Querying JSON. Try it.

PlusMinusInteresting
  • Includes really thorough/practical set of predicate functions
  • No joins other than intersect and union

"jimmyLinq"

Jimmy Chandra's blogpost that I've dubbed JimmyLinq uses Fluent javascript for Querying JSON. Try it.

PlusMinusInteresting
  • Simple. A good starter if you want to write your own version of such a library.

  • Too simple.
  • Most amateur/"rough and ready" of the lot. Doesn't take itself as seriously as the others.

Some other JSON Query languages I could've looked into if my travel time was significantly longer:

All of which would stop me from getting back to releasing the product I should be releasing, or any of the other technical obsessions I'm trying to develop. So if you're interested in any of those... you're on your own.

Read On...


Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:08:02 GMT

What then, is b?

(This was going to be an article about how impossible it is to design one language that has all my favourite features. But instead, became a scene from "A Coder's Edition of Saw.")

You wake up, in unfamiliar surroundings.

You must've experienced some kind of memory loss because you have no idea how you got to where you are. Your forehead is brittle with dried blood.

In front of you is a computer screen, and on the screen it says:

a = Add(2,3);

//a is 5.

b = Add(2);

//what is b?

Intriguing. What is b?

Because you're uncertain of the language in question, you can't be sure.

It could be that Add is an overloaded function, in which case b would be an integer. Its exact value is anyone's guess.

Or it could be that Add has an optional second parameter. Again b would be an integer, though its value could be anything.

It could be that the code refuses to run. The missing parameter is a deal breaker.

But you look at the tattoo on the back of your hand, the 11th letter of the greek alphabet, and you are certain.

What then, is b?

Read On...


Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:44:57 GMT

SQLike: A simple editor

editor for JSLike

Here's a SQLike editor I wrote. It lets you get your hands dirty with SQLike, the client-side query engine from Thomas Frank.

This started a few weeks back. I read that Thomas had created a nifty DSL in Json for querying (and modifying) arrays of Json. The correct name for it would've been 'JQuery' but that name had already been taken, so he called it SQLike. ;-)

I set about writing a simple editor for it (in the style of the World's Simplest Code Generator) and came up with this fairly usable SQLike editor.

I don't assume you've got any Json to query, and instead expect you to start with a chunk of CSV. I turn that into an array of Json (named 'JsonData') then exec your query over it.

The UI lets you join and query up to two tables at once. I meant to extend it to N tables, but bus-time only lets me do so much, and I keep running into interesting people when I ought to be programming.

editor for JSLike

In my day job I hand write a lot of sql. And with this editor I quickly found that even though SQLike is lighter than XML it's quite 'ceremonious' compared to writing pure SQL.

Apparently Thomas is hoping to making the syntax for SQLike a lot lighter yet, based on comments here including:

"...stop using pipes – the hell with it: reserve a few words :-D..."

...a sentiment I fully agree with. I look forward to any future versions. If you're listening Thomas: keep going! This is an intriguing project!

Also, I want to add I've already found SQLike useful in helping to achieve my day-to-day data-manipulation activities. I can go straight from CSV to 'queries' without having to put the data into a database first.

Sometimes I can't help but picture the future as an endless sea of cubicles, populated by workers struggling to perform data-manipulation duties. And many will continue to get by without any real tools at all. No sql. No sqlike. Not even a wscg or an excel-formula to help them out.

A future "bus project" might be to implement a similar editor for the overlapping project: JsLinq.

Feedback, criticisms, ideas and suggestions always welcome.

Read On...


Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:57:59 GMT

Yet Another BizPlan Generator.

I'm so sick of being me that I outsourced being me to a miniscule script that just sits there, being me, all day long. Here it is -- 'yet another business plan generator.'

Gorn. --> Try it out. <--

Also, deep within the myriad combinations, I've buried a clue about the new micro-Isv i'm building ;-).

Read On...


Sun, 30 May 2010 13:06:20 GMT

HOT GUIDS: A hot or not site for guids

Social software seems to be going into a lot of niche areas lately. I thought I'd try and jump ahead of the next wave and build my own social website:

HOT GUIDS - Socializing the Guid

HOT GUIDS - Socializing the Guid

Finally there's a place where people can vote on and discuss their favorite guids.

I've built in pretty much all the best social features. You can vote on a guid, see other votes for a guid, adopt a guid, or email a guid to your friends. And if you get sick of the guid you're looking at: with the click of a button you can move onto a whole new guid.

I'm trying to really take the long tail of human interest by storm. If I get just one customer for each guid, then I'll get... oh I don't know, it must be a *lot* of hits.

Thanks to Stack Overflow for the guid generating snippet. The web template started out the same as 'CreditCardOlogy' but with a little (Powerpoint + MSPaint + PngOut) I took it to a new place entirely.

If you're unsure what any of this is about, please read about guids (& UUIDs) at wikipedia, or try running this Simple Proof That Guid is not Unique.

And make sure email me if you see any particular delicious looking guids. There's some beauties out there.

Read On...


Sat, 29 May 2010 15:23:54 GMT

How does life get better? One tiny hack at a time.

I use a HP netbook, on the bus mostly, for bashing out furious code while crammed between passengers (much like this guy). It's a nice little 'puter.

One minor grievance is that with the keys all cramped together, it's hard to find the F5 key without looking. For many reasons, (Refresh, compile & run, execute...) F5 is a BIG DEAL.

So, to give it some tactile presence, I put a tiny sticker, with a rough surface, over the F5 key.

Now I can find the key by touch, in an instant.

Porous tape on the F5 key.
How does life get better?
One tiny hack at a time.

 

I gift this hack unto thee. ;-)

Read On...


Sat, 22 May 2010 03:07:20 GMT

24 things to do, and 100 things *not* to do (yet) for building a MicroISV

I've been building another microIsv lately, and as such I've had to produce a new 'to-do' list to keep me focused. It steals a lot from the previous list but matches my current predicament more closely.

I've got 24 things to do, but 100 things I'm *not* going to do just yet. In TimeSnapper (a moderately successful Micro-ISV shared with my colleague Atli) we go well past the first 24 items, and far into the next 100.

Consider also the fractal nature of this work... each item can contain its own sublist of critical and non-critical action items... and so on. A length essay (or at least a series of links) could be provided for every item on the list.

(The worst thing is... even though I know that only the first 24 are needed for now... I so badly want to do the rest before I finished the first ones. It's killing me!)

mandatory (1-24)

i intend to complete items 1-24 before 'launch'. (Things already completed are shown in a lighter shade)

micro isv application:

  1. build the simplest product imaginable
  2. fill it with particles of delight
  3. mark some features as 'paid'
  4. make it a standalone exe
  5. have an eula shown on first run
  6. have a form for registering the application
  7. call the webservice, and store the unique code and activation code, if one is received back
  8. on startup, check if registered
  9. if registered, unlock the paid features & hide registration hooks
  10. naming, branding, logo to match url

micro isv website:

  1. get a url (technically, this step comes before step 10)
  2. choose your server-side technology stack
  3. purchase hosting
  4. choose website template
  5. index page (landing page)
  6. choose a price
  7. register with payment gateway
  8. purchase page
  9. handle payment notification from payment gateway
  10. send "registration code" email
  11. thank you page (show registration code)
  12. webservice to confirm registration code from client
  13. download link
  14. screenshots of app

for extra credit (25-71)

i'll probably do these.

tax and legal protection

  1. incorporate

continual improvement:

  1. beta testing from friends/critics
  2. ask at business of software for feedback
  3. bugtracking/support system (e.g. fogbugz for startups)
  4. "uservoice" for feedback
  5. web analytics
  6. drive support costs down

advertising/promotions:

  1. update your email signature so you're always representin
  2. shout out on twitter
  3. blog about it at your day blog
  4. sidebar and footer links from your day blog
  5. ask for links from your friends' blogs
  6. pad file
  7. register at download sites
  8. twitter account for announcements
  9. build a community
  10. build a movement

website enhancements:

  1. about page
  2. help page
  3. faq page
  4. privacy policy
  5. articles on your niche topic
  6. refund policy
  7. usage policy
  8. various pricing levels
  9. release notes page
  10. automated backup
  11. bug reporting link
  12. privacy policy
  13. 'try it online' for free
  14. an article targeted at each potential user group/demographic
  15. amazing screen shots
  16. testimonials

app enhancements:

  1. implement most desirable features
  2. release often
  3. check online for current version #
  4. background download of updates
  5. link to release notes inside application
  6. feedback link inside app
  7. suggestion link inside app
  8. bug reporting link inside app
  9. an offline way to register
  10. have a commandline way to register

application development:

  1. source code repository (actually this is item 0.)
  2. extra backup
  3. obfuscation (eazfuscator?)
  4. unit testing

for even more extra credit (72-124)

i may not get to these. i haven't bothered categorising them

  1. locate relevant user groups/communities and give them free licenses
  2. locate niche bloggers and solicit feedback from them
  3. a form for adding testimonials
  4. survey the competition
  5. talk at user groups
  6. talk at conferences
  7. revision control
  8. self service for lost serial numbers
  9. a/b testing framework
  10. crash reporting from the field
  11. bug/suggestion reporting from application
  12. branding/logo at the payment page
  13. continuous integration
  14. automated releases
  15. adwords campaigns
  16. advertise in non-google networks
  17. box shot 3d
  18. web casts
  19. disk shipping (aka on-demand fulfillment)
  20. companion products
  21. upselling
  22. email campaigns
  23. be cool
  24. sign up/email harvesting
  25. follow up email tutorial series to non-paying (and paying) users
  26. product roadmap
  27. spam control
  28. a low-impact installer
  29. uninstall reason collection
  30. competitions
  31. discounts, e.g. student, charity, startup
  32. product blog
  33. thriving plug-in community
  34. vm test bed
  35. multi-browser testing
  36. customer satisfaction surveys
  37. internationalisation and localisation of product
  38. internationalisation and localisation of website
  39. campaign websites/websites named after keywords
  40. professionally designed website
  41. app analytics
  42. companion urls, e.g. .net, .org, nation-specific
  43. ci monitor
  44. status panel
  45. usability testing
  46. give licenses to MVP's list
  47. give out promotional gifts
  48. sponsor something
  49. Run an affiliate service
  50. check compiled binary with virus total
  51. virus free logo on website
  52. sign your binaries, e.g. authenticode signed.
  53. stop reading/writing this list and implement something

Stay tuned of course.

Read On...


Fri, 07 May 2010 12:55:58 GMT

Venture capital won't kill Jeff Atwood, it will only make him Jeffer.

2004: Jeff Atwood says 'Every developer should have at least 2 monitors.'

2008: Jeff Atwood says 'Every developer should have at least 3 monitors.'

2010: Jeff Atwood receives 6 million dollars in venture capital

2012: Jeff Atwood says 'Every developer should have at least 26 monitors. On their yacht.'

Read On...


Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:10:23 GMT

A handy workflow image for newbie mercurial users

mercurial workflow

I've been using mercurial lately for my own projects and when collaborating with OJ on a skunkwork project we have underway.

Here's a cheatsheet I built, lifted almost wholly from hginit, to help my get my rhythm in the early days.

As soon as Jeff 'VB forever' Atwood adopts a technology, you know it's gone all mainstream... but just to prove that hg has really jumped the critical-adoption-long-tail-shark-mass... I built the above image with powerpoint. Yes, that powerpoint.

--> Full size image here <--

Source pptx is zipped here.

If you've got any improvements or feedback, please comment.

Read On...


Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:46:17 GMT

Fractal Feedback, a diversion into recreational programming

colorpic: a nice tool

What does a microIsv guy do when he's not sailing his yacht and/or yachts?

He indulges in recreational programming!

So, the back story is that I was using ColorPic, one of those nifty little tools you use for screen-scraping the color of a pixel, when I noticed that by abusing it's normal usage, it could be turned into a fractal generator.

ColorPic magnifies a small portion of the screen (wherever you point your mouse). But check out the recursion of that idea, baby.

If you mouse over the part of the screen that displays where you've moved your mouse... incredible things happen! Time folds back on itself, wormholes of destiny send ripples across the sea of causality, and, with a bit of luck and just the right settings you can produce Sierpinski like patterns.


(Still images do these things no justice. They are growing shapes that respond to your movement. The optimal settings are '2 * magnification' with grid turned on.)

wave filter with blur filter

I wanted to experiment further, so I created an application (eventually a fleet of applications) using "Good Old" Windows Forms.

After tinkering for a few nights I had 4 applications that give 4 variations on the feedback theme.

I've open-sourced the code and the executables through CodePlex.

The applications are:

1. FractalFeedback

The first app lets you change the parameters that are used for the feedback, by entering values into a windows form.

2. Magnifier

The next app uses a slightly transparent form to produce a somewhat ghostly feedback effect.

3. PythonFeedback

As the name suggests, PythonFeedback lets you write python scripts that modify the parameters used for the feedback. A creative python dev (*cough*) could do wonders with this program, or variations on it.

4. FilterFeedback

This app lets you use an open-source library of text filters, AForge, for applying various types of rendering details.


Each of these taught me different techniques that I hadn't applied before, and if you give them a go you might have some fun too.

The AForge library was particularly cool, as it has filters for doing a lot of image filtering that you may need to automate at times. If I have a project where I need to clean up or modify images in any way, I'll reach for AForge.

So if you've got time for some "recreational programming" (or even if you don't...) download the fracBack code or binaries, and see what you can produce.

I've put a small image gallery online. If you create any interesting pics, please share

Oh, and any code I've released is of 'recreational quality' which is... well imagine how bad typical 'Enterprise' code is... then divide that by ten. Seriously. It's that bad.

And lastly, it's great to see how far CodePlex has come in the last few years. I gave up on them several years back, and used 'code.google' in the interim, but CodePlex has come a long way. We put the TimeSnapper plugins at CodePlex, to test the waters, and found it much improved. What impresses me most is that the mercurial support they now offer is not just a bridge to TFS, but is actual mercurial hosting.

Summary: Recreational programming. Love it.

Read On...


Fri, 09 Apr 2010 04:06:52 GMT

Hump-Jumping: How the Education of Computer Science can be Saved, err, maybe.

In a paper called 'The Camel has two humps' the authors described a test which can be applied to students before they've begun a computer science course, and can fairly accurately predict those that will do well and those that will not.

I've never agreed with their summary of the results.

They say they are dividing:

"programming sheep from non-programming goats"

...which implies the differences between pass and fail are as pronounced as speciation. That's a big claim and well outside the scope of their research.

And I think they misrepresent their study when they say:

"This test predicts ability to program with very high accuracy before the subjects have ever seen a program or a programming language."

...as, crucially, their study failed to check whether the students "had ever seen a program or programming language."

(Unless I'm misinterpreting this sentence from the paper, taken verbatim:

We believe (without any interview evidence at all) that they had had no contact with programming but had received basic school mathematics teaching.

... I've written to one of the authors to seek clarity.)

I asked Alan Kay for his opinion, when he commented here on a different topic -- he was very kind in providing a lengthy and thoughful answer.

His opening phrase really sticks in my mind:

"They could be right, but there is nothing in the paper that substantiates it."

Then, this morning, I saw a fresh comment at that article, from David Smith

"If there were a definitive test of ultimate programming capability I could apply on the first day of class, what would I say to those who 'failed'?"

Which presents a very human response to the topic from an educator directly affected by it. And I don't have a sufficient answer to that.

But a different approach to the whole problem has occurred to me since:

Let's suppose that this test is indeed an accurate test of those that will and won't succeed in computer science 101.

We put aside all worries about what biases or inconsistencies the study might have. Just accept that the test is effective. Stick with me here.

So we give the test to all students before they start Computer Science 101. At the end of the subject, we see that, as predicated, those that do poorly in the subject tend to do poorly on the pre-test. But instead of looking for correlation, what if we looked for outliers?

Which students did poorly on the pre-test, but did well in computer science? Those are the students with the most to teach us. Why did they buck the trend?

Okay, so maybe some of them cheated. (I remember a high incidence of cheating in early computer subjects I took; particularly amongst those who didn't continue in the field.) And maybe some of people deliberately blew the pre-test, even though they did well at the subject.

But once we find the genuine hump-jumpers, we focus on what it was that helped computer science 'click' for them. Did they find there were specific misconceptions they had to overcome? Did they have extra-tuition? Were there specific problems that helped them get their thinking in order? Was it just hard work? And, regardless of the answer, would they like to become tutors next semester, specifically working with those who perform poorly on the pre-test?

It might be necessary to look at a lot of such hump-jumpers before useful lessons emerge. It might be that every one of them has a different story to tell, there's no common pattern. (As Tolstoy said in his Turing Award speech: "Happy programmers are all alike; but every unhappy programmer is unhappy in her own way.")

So that's my answer for David. I don't know what you could say to those who fail the pre-test. But I think that over time a good pre-test could be used to develop new and better teaching methods, and maybe that's the best we can do.

Read On...


Thu, 25 Mar 2010 03:47:44 GMT

Suggested User Experience Improvements for DiffMerge

Frankly, I'm kind of a ninja-Buddha-wizard at the UX.

Perhaps you are familiar with my ground breaking work with "Console.ForegroundColor = ConsoleColor.Red" and other visual sensations.

As such I am uniquely qualified to provide suggestions for achieving incremental benefit to the User Interface of tools in the marketplace.

One of my favourite little free tools is 'DiffMerge' from Source Gear.

This is a file-difference tool that I consider to be a step or two better than the other free diffing tools on the market.

Here's the toolbar from DiffMerge. Look at the last three icons:

DiffMerge toolbar as is

There's a "foolish consistency" here: all three have the same green arrow, pointing in different directions.

But the nature of those three buttons is not consistent. Up and down are purely navigational elements, while the 'left to right' arrow is for pushing changes from one document to the other.

In buddhist terminology we say that their Qi is mis-chimed.

As such, I think that the colour of that arrow could be changed to provide a little warning of the power of this button.

DiffMerge toolbar minor change

To really take this up a notch, I'd go even further. That's right. You thought the first change was pretty extreme.

I'd put a separator in there, to give the left-right arrow a little space of its own. This is the UI principle of 'Proximity' - I don't have time to explain it to you kids right now, but UX-buddha's like me, we get funky with proximity all the sweet time.

Further more (and this is where I really trip out on the UX-pixie-dust) I'd do something tricky with the 'Save' icon.

If and when the file on the right is 'changed,' I would like to see a little red/orange highlight given to the save icon, to give some more "visual weight" to this element. (Currently it goes from slightly grey, to black... it's perhaps a little too subtle)

DiffMerge toolbar minor change #2

There you have it.

With a few light touches we've transformed the application. From something everyday and - dare I say - drab, we've dragged it kicking and screaming into the wild and crazy future.

Welcome to the twenty third century, DiffMerge.

That's how we kick it: UX-Buddha-style.

Read On...


Fri, 12 Mar 2010 10:16:12 GMT

SQL Style Extensions for C#

(Is this serious? If you can work it out, please tell me. In any case, it's inspired by the fact I've been doing more SQL than C# lately)

Are you addicted to SQL? Are you uncomfortable whenever you have to use pesky imperative languages like C#?

Now you can use your favourite SQL functions inside C#, with the amazing new "SQL Style Extensions" class!

Need to know if a value is in a short list of constants?

In SQL you'd simply write "where State in ('QLD','NSW','VIC')" – but, until recently C# forced you to write:

if (State == "QLD" || State == "NSW" || State == "VIC")

But now -- thanks to the aMAZzing new 'SQL Style Extensions' -- you can simply write:

If (State.In("QLD","NSW","VIC"))

... then close down the IDE and get back to your Entity Diagrams in no time!

Do you miss the power of LIKE matching?

Miss it no more!

With SQL Style Extensions you can write:

If (Firstname.Like("Fred%")) and find all your Freds, Fredericks and Fredas in one powerful line!

Buy now!! <-- for added effect, imagine that text is blinking. I... just... couldn't... bring myself to apply a blink tag.

This is just a taste:

    using System.Linq;
    using System.Text.RegularExpressions;
 
    static class SqlStyleExtensions
    {
        public static bool In(this string me, params string[] set)
        {
            return set.Contains(me);
        }
                               
        public static bool Like(this string me, string pattern)
        { 
            //Turn a SQL-like-pattern into regex, by turning '%' into '.*'
            //Doesn't handle SQL's underscore into single character wild card,
            //        or the way SQL uses square brackets for escaping.
            //Note the same concept could work for DOS-style wildcards (* and ?)
            var regex = new Regex("^" + pattern
                           .Replace(".", "\\.")
                           .Replace("%",".*")
                           .Replace("\\.*","\\%")
                           + "$");
	
            return regex.IsMatch(me);
        }
    }

(Actually, that's the whole thing.)

(If you do use this, you might want to improve that regex. Testing was... rudimentary.)

Read On...


Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:55:31 GMT

The Movie Hollywood (And My Wife) Doesn't Want You To See: Weekend at Jacko's

Other working titles: 'Weekend at Michael's', 'Weekend at Jackson's', 'Weekend at Neverland', 'Wacko Weekend'

So this is a movie idea for which JoCo Loco really deserves the blame, so please redirect the hate mail in his direction this time thank you very much.

Opening:

Newspapers spin out, announcing the tragic death of Michael Jackson. Fade to black and our subtitle reads '4 weeks earlier.'

Sound of an old-timey radio announcer telling us that Legendary Musician Michael Jackson has announced a special prize: there are 8 golden tickets hidden inside 8 lucky copies of his new album. The 8 very lucky little boys who find them will be able to spend one magical weekend at Michael's Neverland ranch, chaperoned by the man himself.

you know the feeling

Just before the lucky winners arrive, Jackson suffers a heart attack and falls down dead. After all the publicity that the golden tickets have created, his minders are desperate to go ahead with the lucky weekend, so they prop him up, "Weekend at Bernie's" style, determined that a setback like this won't stop Michael from being the perfect host.

As I've demonstrated on numerous occasions, a high quality premise is all one needs and 'The Self-Writing Script' takes care of itself thereafter.

Other scenes include:

Whenever the minders get too tired, they throw Michael onto the neverland roller-coaster for a couple of hours.

One particularly touching scene has Jackson (well, corpse-of-Jackson) sitting on a park bench, rather stiff, while a whistful pet gorilla, (Bobo number 2?) reaches an arm around him and gives him a long sad hug of farewell. Violins. Not a dry eye in the room.

Actual Corpse of Jackson, 
 appearing in the big musical finale

And the big musical finale is an awesome recreation of the zombie dance from Thriller.

Note to self: could the actual corpse of Jackson be used in the film? It would be great to see him dance one last time. Moonwalking, for example, would be easily achieved with pulleys and string.

No doubt, the whole thing is narrated by a drunk and somewhat angry zombie hamster.

Or, to put it another way, here is an image ive been meaning to use for a while now

Read On...


Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:30:56 GMT

Sysi: the ultimate administrators toolkit

I saw a typo in a magazine where someone referred to SysInternals as 'Sysinternal' (singular... they left the 's' off the end)

Take control of Windows with Sysinternal, the ultimate administrators toolkit

And this gave me a random idea: what if SysInternals provided a single tool, called 'Sysinternal'.

richard pryor

And it does everything. Just everything. Like the computer that Richard Pryor's character builds in Superman III. Got it?

So I told JoCo Loco this idea -- and he'd sweded up a Compleat Design within seconds:

SysInternal is a console app. The first parameter is the name of the specific SysInternals tool you want to use. The remaining parameters are passed to that tool.

You don't need to have all the tools from SysInternals on your machine already. SysInternal will get what's needed, by downloading from Live.Sysinternals.com.

Sysi.exe: ladies dont know bout my console colors

And if you pass the parameter "-?" (or no parameters) then it will screen-scrape Live.SysInternals.com to tell you all the available tools.

I quickly found that the name 'SysInternal.exe' was too long to type out, so I shortened it to 'Sysi.exe', pronounced Sissy. Hopefully this also stops me from violating their trademark. (Mark Russinovich is not a Sissy. Chuck Norris wishes he was Mark Russinovich)

I've released the code on CodePlex, at sysi.CodePlex.Com.

Go get it!

Download sysi right now

Read On...


Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:47:48 GMT

Movie: Priest Academy

As you may know, I spend the hours from 2:15 am until 3:16 am each day putting the finishing touches on a series of racy, fun, and sometimes controversial big budget films that generally go on to make a major impact at the box office.

One of my recent film-ventures was red-lighted when a principal Cooney-investor relocated inter-state during a sensitive round of pre-production Ponzi-fund-bolstering.

Thus, I expect that various imitators are intending to bring their own cheap knock-offs to the screen to fill the public's unslated thirst. So as a pre-emptive strike, I've decided to immediately publicise the film's gobstopping premise in order to temporarily flood the global market for staggering ideas.

Here it is...the basic pitch for 'Priest Academy'

Premise:

Church attendance figures are woeful and the church is desperate to throw off its image as a sexist, racist, homophobic, straight-laced institution. So they throw away all entrance limitations and welcome a new generation of priests into their hallowed seminaries.

smoking nuns

Characters

The new class at the seminary would include:

  • a stripper
  • a hooker
  • a flasher
  • an arsonist
  • a horse who can count
  • a monkey with a taser
  • someone who seriously wants to become a priest
  • a huge guy
  • a flatulent dwarf
  • a buddhist monk

Okay. That's all you need to know. The rest is elementary: the angry bishop, the drunk old lecturer-priest, the misbehaving nuns, the homily-challenge/smack-down, the confessional-punch-up, the fire in the bell-tower, the frankinsence fight, the smashing-through-stained-glass-windows, the whole thing. Done. It Is Written. Word.

Read On...


Fri, 19 Feb 2010 09:55:31 GMT

Inspirational Rat Story

I gave a rather inspiring speech at standup yesterday, and I think I ought to record it for posterity, so it can (eventually) make its way into one of those 'inspirational speeches of world history' type books you see in the bargain tables out the front of third-rate book shops.

Remember that the idea of 'standup' is to tell your colleagues what you did yesterday, what you intend to do today, and to call out anything that's blocking you.

Here's what I said. (True story, by the way.)

rat pipe

Picture a rat crawling through a sewer pipe. The pipe is dark and endless. It stretches out in front of him, endless darkness, and behind him, a long, endless tunnel of darkness. The rat has been crawling for so long that he no longer knows which way he is going; time seems to have stopped and he is no longer certain that he is moving forward at all. His foot slips against the slimy side of the pipe and for one moment he falls asleep, and while he sleeps he dreams that he is a software developer working on this very project. Standing here. Talking to all of you. He wakes up a moment later, realises he is back in the sewer pipe and his body glows with a tremendous feeling of relief. It's a beautiful moment.

Read On...


Sat, 30 Jan 2010 09:54:48 GMT

A face-melting DSL that allows programming ON the iPhone (and iPad)

Some fools say you can't program on the iPhone.

I'm not talking about programming for the iPhone -- I mean sitting down with just your iPhone and using that device to bang out a new program.

Why not I say?

Fools (and people much smarter than me) are stumped because they point out that the hardware has restrictions which disallow the conversion of data (such as the programs you type) into executable code. And thanks to this deliberate hardware limitation you categorically cannot program on the iPhone. You run apps, not write them. That's what they say.

But -- it has a browser. A browser.

A BROWSER! Don't you see?!

I'm reminded of that bit in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, when harry says he doesn't know how to win the dragon ball Z challenge, against a REAL dragon.

What are you good at? asks Professor Moody,

I'm good at flying, whines Harry, but I'm not allowed a broom.

Moody flares his nostrils and shouts You're allowed a wand!!

You see, if you are allowed a wand you can use it to get any other damn thing you want. So he uses the wand to get the broom and uses the broom to win the challenge. QED.

We're not allowed to program, but we are allowed to "browse."

With a browser we have javascript and with javascript we have:

ULTIMATE AWESOME!! This kind of awesome:

very awesome. and a ute in a tree.

So I've built a simple domain specific language, which emits javascript targeted at the iPhone. Via which you can build apps for the iPhone, without resorting to a regular computer.

More to follow in part 2 of this 3 part series with a bitter, tragic end.

(a short advertisment for part 2 of this series now follows, as requested by my angel investors)

Part 2: IT WILL MELT YOUR FACE

A simple domain specific language, which emits javascript targeted at the iPhone:

Will it really melt your face?

Let's see what gas-mask girl has to say:

gas-mask girl says it will melt your face

And how about Jeff Atwood, what does he say:

coding horror says it will melt your face

So, from a scientific point of view, the assertion is proved.

Stay tuned for part 2.

Read On...


Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:14:33 GMT

The secretGeek Disaster Recovery plan

Jeff Atwood suffered a 'total data loss' of his blog. And here is how 90% of the world's bloggers slept that night:

a pleasant nights sleep

Immediately thereafter I cracked open the box labelled 'the secretGeek Disaster Recovery plan' and inside I found only an empty biscuit wrapper and a few stale crumbs.

So, after many hours of labour, I present:

The revised SecretGeek Disaster Recovery plan:

Every Sunday night, at 10pm, syncback fires up and downloads the contents of this website onto my most reliable home computer. If the computer is asleep, it wakes up to perform this task.

When syncback is finished, it uses powershell to tweet that it's done. It twitters to a single-purpose account that no one else need follow but me ('secretGeek_bkup').

Every night, syncback wakes up the local computer and copies all of the family files (documents, photos, code and websites) onto external media. These are rotated fortnightly to an offsite location. We're prompted to do this by scheduled tasks in windows.

The most fun part was getting syncback to tweet -- so I want to share that with you here.

I used the script Out-Twitter.ps1 -- from Jeffrey Hicks of Sapien, with some cheap hacks I've added.

Jeffrey's original script was very clever. It stored the credentials (the username and password) in a very secure 'best-practice'-oriented way. But that bit of the script kept exploding for me, so I threw it out. Since the twitter account I'm accessing is very low value (it exists for one purpose only) I'm happy to hardcode the username and password into the script. A compromise like that is the sort of corner cutting upon which enterprise thrives ;-).

syncback configured to run

Here's the exact callout string I put into syncback.

powershell -command " 'backup complete (secretGeek) @secretGeek' | out-Twitter "

Getting the quotes just write was by far the most annoying part. Followed by getting the firewall to play nice.

What's your backup strat? And did the coding horror blogapocalypso inspire you to make it better?

Also -- this just in: an authentic photo of Jeff, taken at the moment he first realised his VM wasn't coming back:

coding horror says you should get a backup

Read On...


Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:02:08 GMT

Save KNVTn! Before it's too late

You know, I'm more that a little worried that the works of KNVTn will be lost in time, and historians of the future will have no record of this brilliant thinker.

the works of KNVTn

Possibly the only genius who can challenge the genius of KNVTn is that master of computer science, DE |(nuth.

that master of computer science, DE |(nuth

Unlike thinkers of bygone eras, I guess KNVTn and DE |(nuth are lucky that they live in an era where the marvels of OCR technology can be used to perfectly preserve their works for all time, without their mighty shadows being usurped by popularist hacks, like that pretender Knuth and his ilk.

Read On...


Wed, 06 Jan 2010 09:16:41 GMT

The Ultimate Agent of WERF Destruction

CreditCardOlogy: What do the numbers say about you?
This guy knows it. Do you?.

Joseph Cooney and I were talking about the incredible revenue monster that is Balsamiq, a tiny software company which brought in over a million bucks last year. As such, the conversation soon turned to a lament for the paltry stipend that our own ISV's tend to bring in.

Pretty soon, one of us hit on a terrific winner of an idea, which you will see is far superior to any other possible money making venture, as it brings about exactly the right behaviour in people.

What one needs is a way to get the customer to take the wallet out of the pocket, and the credit card out of the wallet.

These are difficult steps with which potential customers are reluctant to demonstrate sufficient compliance.

Some products -- balsamiq being a great example -- seem to have a tremendous 'wallet-appeal'. After just a minute or two of testing that baby out, people realise this product will help them kick ass, and their WERF falls to almost zero, while their CCED rises to 100%. (WERF: Wallet extraction reluctance factor; CCED: Credit Card Extraction Desire)

So, Joseph and I devised a product of our own that has (I humbly submit) a better WERF curve, and a superior CCED factor than all your balsamiqs. And the time to market has been astounding: I time-boxed the development at 1 bus ride, and pretty much met this criteria.

So, here's the new product, I proudly present:

CreditCardOlogy

A big thanks to Mr Crazy Grumpy Smurf for agreeing to be the mascot of this little link out.

Web template from Ginger the Ninja of Open Source Web Design (OSWD).

Real ideas coming soon.

Read On...


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