The Rules of Stand Up
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The Rules of Stand Up

If this is your first day at stand-up YOU HAVE TO TALK.

Jesus almigthy! Employers are crying out for employees who "hit the ground running" and let me tell you, IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And yet, I see people fail. Many, many people -- intelligent people -- they hit that first tiny hurdle, they bellyflop into it and collapse on the floor in a ball. Why people why!?

I guess I have to start by quoting the rules of 'fight club' since i'm clearly referencing them, and then I need to define what I mean by 'stand-up' since that is the matter at hand.

The rules of 'fight club'

  1. The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
  2. The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
  3. If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
  4. Two guys to a fight.
  5. One fight at a time.
  6. No shirts, no shoes.
  7. Fights will go on as long as they have to.
  8. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

About 'stand up'

By 'Stand up' I mean "the Daily Stand Up Meeting" as introduced by the scrum software methodology and (pretty much?) adopted by all software teams everywhere.

At stand up, you stand in a circle and each speak in turn. We stand up because time is precious. Each person says... well, let me just explain 'the rules of stand up' in the style of 'fight club'. Let's see:


if this is your first day at Stand Up, you have to talk.
If this is your first day at Stand Up,
you have to talk.

The Rules of Stand Up

  1. The first rule of Stand Up is, you do not talk while someone else is talking.
     
  2. The second rule of Stand Up is, you DO NOT talk while someone else is talking.
     
  3. You talk fast and you keep it moving fast.
     
  4. Tell us what you did yesterday.
     
  5. Tell us what you FAILED to do yesterday.
     
  6. Tell us what you will do today.
     
  7. Tell us who is BLOCKING you today.
     
  8. If this is your first day at Stand Up, you have to talk.
     

I could go on, but I already have. ;-)





'stand up bores me stoopid' on Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:22:31 GMT, sez:

what i hate about stand up is mmm mmmm mmm mmm mm mmmm mmm.
what?
i said mmmmm mmmm mmm mmmm.
(stares at feet)

SPEAK UP! STOP MUMBLING YOU IMBECILES!

Stop prattling on. Stop having side conversations. Stop getting side tracked. Stop using technical terms no one else knows (i swear to god you made them up just then!)

And you, in the middle:

Stop grand standing! Stop using it as an excuse to lecture at us! Stop telling us things we already know. The title of 'Scrum master' doesn't actually mean we are your slaves, you ponced up wannabe.

And you down the end:

stop saying the same thing you said every other day. If you're just going to say the same thing every day don't bother coming!

THANK YOU



'John Satta' on Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:38:41 GMT, sez:

@Leon - excellent post (as always)
This should be the description of proper behavior for ALL meetings.

@bored stoopid - your comment is a perfect addendum and, if enough people who feel the same way voiced the same complaints, the world (of meetings at least) would become a much better place.

Thank you both



'Yves Hanoulle' on Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:17:44 GMT, sez:

Perfection game:

I give this a 7 out of ten.

I like the format you have put it in.
I love the "tell us what you failed to do today".

To give it a ten I would replace:

# Tell us what you will do today.
with
# Tell us what you promise to finish today.

And replace
# Tell us who is BLOCKING you today.
with
# Tell us where you need help on today.



'Tracey Oliver' on Wed, 02 Feb 2011 21:02:20 GMT, sez:

I like the idea of saying what you had planned to do but didn't manage to complete. I don't really like the term FAILED as it has a negative connotation. Sometimes failing to complete an expected item may be due to time constraints, blocks or external factors. It may be a good idea to identify why you didn't meet your commitment, as this may be useful in determine problems such as High Interruption levels etc.




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