Y2-GAY: Government Approves Third Gender; DBA's Panic!

(don't you hate it when you think of a y2k parody five years too late?)

The IT world is in shock today, after an amended piece of legislature officially classified homosexual males as a new, third, gender.

Chongo-developers and cowboy-hackers who previously hard-coded only two genders into their applications are now reaping the benefits as they are called out of retirement to alter software algorithms written as many as forty years ago.

Database Administrators throughout the Nation are swinging into action adding the new row to their lookup tables, or dropping and recreating CHECK constraints.

Meanwhile, the Association of Future-Proof Software, who have long advocated the inclusion of three 'Spare' entries at the end of every look up table, have issued a steady stream of smug press releases.

A special shuttle mission will make the perilous mission beyond Mars to track down and re-program the 'Angel-1' deep space probe, whose internal lookup tables erroneously contain only two genders. Although the oversight is considered unlikely to cause any problems during the unmanned probe's exploration of the furthest reaches of the solar system, officials are not willing to take any chances. And a team of specialist navy seals will journey deep into the Atlantic trench, over four miles beneath sea level, risking lethal pressures and unknown beasts with shiny dangly things on their foreheads, in a desperate mission to refresh the EPROM of a twenty-six year-old fissure monitoring system.

Leading insurance companies have already announced that they will not cover software malfunctions in any tech agency that doesn't immediately address the so-called Y2-Gay bug.

The legislature in question, originally designed to deal with lengthy waiting times at gymnasiums adjoining hair salons in ritzy suburbs, was amended to include the new gender at the last moment by radical left Senator Chasey Rhoderum. Chasey, a long time activist on issues regarding database-integrity, is already warning about the possible inclusion of a fourth, fifth and possibly a sixth and seventh gender. The days of the week have fled in terror, as have the months 'June' through 'September'. 'Unknown' continues it lengthy campaign for equality with 'True' and 'False'.

 

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