Programmer's Creed: The Mark of Quality

  1. I will not begin the design phase until the user requirements have been unanimously agreed upon by all users, and etched onto large stone tablets.
  2. I will not begin development until the design is signed off, preferably in blood.
  3. Issues that arise during testing will be recorded in the issue management system, and the relevant developer shall be notified, in writing, before he or she is taken out and flogged, not after.
  4. Product upgrades will not be released into the production environment until the quality assurance manager has scheduled a time to place his or her head on the correct chopping block, and the axman or axewoman has verified that the ax is indeed sharp.

Feeling very bitter and cynical today.

 

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(By the way, I read every comment and often respond.)

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