Test Your Security

Does your office have a culture of security?

How many of the following questions can you truthfully answer "Yes" to?

1. I never open an attachment without first verifying the sender and scanning for viruses.
2. I do not use obvious passwords.
3. I do not recycle passwords amongst different systems.
4. I lock my computer before leaving it unattended.
5. If a stranger enters my workplace, I challenge him or her for identification, even if it appears to be a child.
6. I know how to use a handgun.
7. I know how to fake a lie-detector test, and have methodically increased my tolerance to truth serums.
8. I have a diamond cutting laser pistol hidden in my belt buckle.
9. I know how to pick locks and can smash my way out of handcuffs. Pow! Just like that.
10. Even if tortured, I won't reveal company secrets. (Just like Mr Takagi in DieHard).
11. When my anger rises, I am like a tiger, and will search out my enemy and crush him beneath my heel, utterly. (Just like Bruce Willis in Diehard, or Dustin Hoffman in Straw Dogs)
12. I won't allow a stranger into my house, even if it is a ravishingly beautiful naked woman holding a case of beer.
13. I laugh in the face of Death every chance I get. So much so, in fact, that Death is often embarrassed to see me.

These may all seem obvious, but for a lot of workers security is not a serious topic at all. Test your workers today, and record their marks. For each 'No' answer, beat them savagely with a hammer. In six weeks, test them again and I'll bet they'll pee their pants in fear. That's human nature for you. A cruel heart, a sadistic mind and a weak bladder.

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