Goals List for 2005

This year I have only one goal: I intend to take up smoking.

I've tried to take up smoking in other years, but I've always failed. I keep it up for a month or two, but then during a stressful time I stop buying for a day or two. Next thing I've given up entirely.

Well this time things will be different. I'll start with a few of those nicotine patches. Then I'll chew some nicotine gum. How hard can that be? If there's some kind of nicotine-milkshake on the market, then I'll quaff down one or two of those each morning. The target: cigars in June.

This is gonna be so good for me. Nicotine reduces stress, does wonders for your weight and gives you a sexier, more gravelly voice. Should've done it years ago.

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