Fri, 29 Oct 2004 11:27:22 GMT
Reporting Services is a nice balance of ART and SCIENCE.
Lamentably, there's not a lot of tips and tricks out there for RS just yet.
Perhaps 'Lamentably' is too strong a word. It's hard to picture a cowboy sittin around a campfire singing a sad old song about the lack of reporting services blogs. Cowboys tend to focus on things like cold-hearted horses who betrayed said cowboy under a noon-day sun.
Regardless, there are some fine Reporting Services resources that are worth the read.
To date I recommend the following:
Read On...
Thu, 28 Oct 2004 22:03:45 GMT
Hey Gmail! I wish you had a private built-in Wiki, so I can store/edit and order my own private notes/info.
Sure I could get a wiki somewhere else... but I already gmail open during the day. And it already contains a large amount of the private information I'd like to collect in my wiki.
If a wiki was integrated into gmail then I could use filters to automatically put emails into wiki topics, wiki pages and so on. The most significant difference between a stored email and a private wiki page is that you can't edit a stored email.
A google wiki would be easy to search. And would have great usability.
But no, google is just busy hanging out with Paris. Doing what Paris wants to do. Seeing the films Paris wants to see. You've grown so boring now google. I have started to flirt with MSN search on the weekend.
Read On...
Thu, 28 Oct 2004 21:30:35 GMT
Sometimes you say one thing when you really mean another.
Remember the other day? You said:
"There is an error in the query. Implicit conversion from data type sql_variant to datetime is not allowed. Use the CONVERT function to run this query."
But I pressed the "Edit..." button. The query builder came up and displayed my query. It all looked okay. So I pressed "OK" to close the query builder.
Then you gave me a different message altogether. You changed your story, Mrs Reporting Services.
You said:
"Could not generate a list of fields for the query. Check the query syntax or click refresh fields on the query toolbar. EXECUTE permission denied on object 'queryname', database 'dbname', owner 'dbo'."
Dammit! You tried to trick me, Mrs Reporting Services!
As soon as I granted execute permission to my role for that sproc, you stopped complaining.
Sometimes I wish you'd just tell me the truth right from the start of an argument.
But you're still a very special lady to me, Mrs Reporting Services.
I like your style. I'm sorry I threw that vase at your head.
Read On...
Wed, 27 Oct 2004 23:34:44 GMT
I hate to spread another Google rumour, but there is apparently some truth behind this.
I have it on good authority that Google is going out with Paris Hilton.
Read On...
Mon, 25 Oct 2004 05:26:34 GMT
No, in the two weeks since writing 'How to be depressed' i haven't leapt in front of a train, quite the opposite really. i've been in New Zealand on holiday, taking photos of roadkill mostly. (a little hobby of mine). Stunning place. All the right adjectives apply.
But even when disconnected from the keyboard I continued to dream about software almost nightly. in particular, my dream-self invented a funky idea for a visual thread-manager. No details yet, it remains part of the 'secret' in the above title.
Meanwhile, expect a slow return to blogging some time in the next week or so. The kitten, if you're worried, survived the separation just fine.
(and thanks for the positive feedback on 'how to be depressed' -- but no, penguin continue to snub me.)
Read On...
Sun, 10 Oct 2004 11:45:17 GMT
A quick guide to getting less out of life
Depression is so very easy to achieve
You may think that depression is difficult; that it relies upon tricky chemical imbalances in the brain, that it requires a genetic predisposition, or an intensely traumatic childhood.
Not at all! Depression can work for anyone. Even a bright, thoughtful, well-meaning soul like you!
And it doesn't take a lot of hard work. It's one of the easiest things imaginable. You can lay the foundations for depression with just a few minutes work each day.
If you ever feel sad, please read on.
Fri, 08 Oct 2004 03:29:36 GMT
It's pretty freaky how unashamed Bobby Scoble is of 'ego-surfing' [the process of searching for your own name].
On Scoble's link-out blog many of the excerpts have clearly come from his own ego surfing, as evidenced by the hightlighting of the search term ('scoble') in some of the snippets.
Read On...
Fri, 08 Oct 2004 01:42:26 GMT
MSN Messenger would not shut down, and I got a messagebox warning that other software might be using it. Amongst the possible culprits, a new (to me) piece of software was listed: ThreeDegrees.
So I looked into what this (microsoft sponsored) piece of software is, and what it does.
Read On...
Fri, 08 Oct 2004 01:05:00 GMT
Software LEGEND Eric Sink (yes, I'm turning the tables and calling him a legend) invented 'Winnable Solitaire' -- a game of solitaire that guarantees that every hand can be solved.
He wrote on MSDN about his plans to take the idea to market -- and is now ready to report on his success. Did he make a million dollars? Read the follow up article to find out! (Hint: he's only sold six copies.)
If you've ever invented and released software yourself, this is very amusing stuff, with an affirming message: dismal early sales should not be taken to heart! Even a sure-fire idea will take time to find success.
(apologies for the pun in the title. Honestly! How low can I sink?)
Read On...
Fri, 08 Oct 2004 00:14:45 GMT
'Cubicle' has such a negative connotation. From now on I'm not referring to my work station as a 'cubicle' (or 'cube') but rather as a 'cubby' or 'cubby house'.
I feel like I'm having fun already!
Read On...
Wed, 06 Oct 2004 22:18:22 GMT
Here's a quite convincing phishing-scam email, purportedly from Citi-bank.
A nice description of the scam is provided at About.com, where they mention that Citibank is often targeted in these phishing scams.
I found it amusing that one of the sponsored advertisements on the page was for Citibank (image below). Are they really likely to get new customers because of this kind of negative activity? Certainly the ad should address security concerns, not interest rates.
( Julia Lerman mentioned this scam a while back, too.)
Read On...
Wed, 06 Oct 2004 21:19:46 GMT
If you need to know the definition of a word, polyglot for example, you can type "define:polyglot" into Google, and it will do its darndest to provide an answer.
But the almighty Google is still below par when compared with sites specifically designed to provide word definitions.
For example, i googled "define:idiot" (don't ask... i just wanted to see if it listed anyone i know) and the modal answer was:
Definitions of idiot on the Web
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
[from Deft Definitions and I think originally from Ambrose Bierce's seminal work of satire, 'The Devil's Dictionary']
Satire has its place. But something here is definitely broken.
Read On...
Tue, 05 Oct 2004 23:35:53 GMT
Crystal Reports is a fat stupid dodo. With few natural predators, it's been staggering around the business reporting islands for 10 versions now, only getting fatter and stupider.
With Reporting Services, Microsoft have finally gotten serious about clubbing the Crystal Dodo into extinction.
Read On...
Thu, 30 Sep 2004 01:19:46 GMT
Congratulations to my colleague, Angus Logan, who has been awarded an MVP for Microsoft CMS. Apparently he is one of only four MVP's in the world for that category. Great work Gus!
Read On...
Thu, 23 Sep 2004 22:21:30 GMT
I have a sickness....
Why do I enjoy reading standards documents so much?
I was just reading the rss 2.0 specification and I loved this bit so much I had to read it out loud:
It specifies a web service that supports the rssCloud interface which can be implemented in HTTP-POST, XML-RPC or SOAP 1.1. 
It's better than poetry. Shoot me now.
Sidenote: I think the reason why there as so many arguments around RSS standards is precisely because RSS relates to 'social' software. There's some kind of governing principle that you can't create social software without opening the flood gates to anti-social behaviour (e.g. spam, comment-spam, standards arguments). 'More communication' also means 'more bad communication'. The most eloquent expression of this effect comes from Douglas Adams (in Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy), writing about the invention of the Babel-Fish:
Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
R.I.P, Doug :-(
Read On...
Thu, 23 Sep 2004 05:40:19 GMT
Final thought for the day, taken from the book "Creative Intelligence"
Einstein went so far as to use one type of soap for everything so that he could focus his energies on more important matters.
Umm? Way to go, Einstein.
Yes. Must remember this piece of trivia for my planned encyclopaedic tome, "Bathing Habits of the Great Thinkers."
Read On...
Tue, 21 Sep 2004 23:29:23 GMT
Good showmanship is one part of profitable software. As Shakespeare first said:
All the software's a stage
Taking the metaphor further, here's how the roles are mapped between theatre and software.
| Theatre | = | Software | | Actors and Play | = | Software and System |
| Audience | = | User |
| Script writer | = | Coder |
| Director | = | "Architect" |
| Lighting, Costume, Make up artists | = | Graphic and Interface designers |
| Producer | = | Employer or Manager |
| Promoter | = | Salesperson |
| Rotten tomatoes | = | Abusive email |
| Clapping, cheering, flowers | = | Silence. |
To stretch the metaphor a little further...
A coder who doesn't 'dogfood' their own software is like a scriptwriter who doesn't watch the rehearsals. A software-salesguy who misunderstands the software is like a promoter who bills a romantic comedy as an action adventure, or who says that a big budget sci-fi thriller will be a funny and rewarding musical drama.
Read On...
Mon, 20 Sep 2004 21:14:52 GMT
There will be some changes over the coming weeks.
According to a business consultant, this company lacks vision.
Hence, starting now we'll be topping up the coffee pot with liquid LSD.
The new corporate vision should be a strong one.
Read On...
Thu, 16 Sep 2004 00:15:06 GMT
Coolest thing I've seen all week
A DHTML 'favelet' that lets you float over a webpage and find out what html is behind each screen element.
http://slayeroffice.com/?c=/content/tools/suite.htmlFunniest corporate email I've seen today
A friend forwarded me this gem from his workplace (name withheld)
From: (Name Withheld)
To: (the entire company) Subject: One of our our core values, namely MUTUAL RESPECT could be demonstrated by not cancelling other peoples print jobs part way through! Thank you!
Afternoon of fun with web services!
I'm digging the australian business number web services. Useful for validating ABN's. Info available at their web site
Read On...
Fri, 03 Sep 2004 11:27:51 GMT
Did you backup your home computer today? Did you?
Probably not. And I hope you wake up tomorrow to find that:
- Your hard drive is dead
- You've accidentally wiped important documents
- A virus has damaged your operating system
- Your computer has been stolen
- Your house has burnt down
AND - A lightning-strike has destroyed your hard drive
Read On...
Tue, 31 Aug 2004 22:49:05 GMT
A geek, of course, is a man who lies in a cage on a bed of filthy straw in a carnival freak-show and bites the heads off live chickens and makes subhuman noises, and is billed as having been raised by wild animals in the jungles of Borneo. He has sunk as low as a human being can sink...
from "JailBird" by Kurt Vonnegut.
Vonnegut is great, but he's a bit hit and miss. This book, JailBird, is one of the good ones.
Slaughterhouse Five, his book about time travel and what happened to him during the bombing of Dresden, is possibly the best novel yet written.
Read On...
Mon, 30 Aug 2004 04:58:06 GMT
This guy might be nice enough to give you one. And Rory was all over the situation earlier today.
I gave away what I had, but may get more later. If you leave your name and email address (in some spam-proof form) in the comments here I'll invite you if I get the chance.
Read On...
Mon, 30 Aug 2004 04:39:55 GMT
Things you need to do:- Try out the features
- "new mail" is achieved via "Compose" in the top left of the screen.
- "Address book" is available via "Contacts" in the top right of the screen.
Hungry for more utilities? Look at:
Mac OSX user?
"gCount is a menu bar and/or Dock item that displays the unread status of the inbox ..."
Read On...
Sun, 29 Aug 2004 11:53:01 GMT
Geeks (like you and me) often act as 'Family Computer Technicians', called upon to solve the technical issues encountered by our relatives and family friends.
Some excellent articles by Scott Hanselman have fired me up about raising the standard of this help, and improving the security of the PC's we're responsible for.
I want to start a bandwagon. And I want you, my excellent readers, to jump on board.
One day each month (let's say the 3rd day of the month) we will remind each other to achieve certain simple things on our home pc's, and the home pc's of our Mum's, our Dad's, our Uncle's, Aunts, in-laws, grandparents -- any home PC's we come in contact with.
The Goals to be acheived are:
- Regular Backups
- Anti Virus software: Installed and Up To Date
- Internet Firewall enabled
- Spam Protection
- Spyware Protection
- Windows Update Service
If all of that is achieved I think the world will be happier place.
For the first month I want to focus on our own computers. So on the 3rd of September, I'll be trying to focus attention toward backing up home computers.
More to follow -- but let me leave you with this question: when did you last backup your home PC?
Read On...
Sun, 29 Aug 2004 11:44:10 GMT
Mark Pilgrim wrote a good blog entry about how most programmers are either Morons or Assholes. According to Mark's definitions I've met amny more morons than assholes. And I quite like the morons.
The blog 'Minding the planet' is worth a read, if you've got time.
And here's a good description of RSS if you need to explain it to luddite friends. (Written by Dan Bricklin, inventor of the spreadsheet).
Read On...
Fri, 27 Aug 2004 05:17:05 GMT
Should I use a GUID for my child's middlename?
A slogan you *should* not use on your splash screen:
"ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE"
After a lot of convincing, I decide to turn on option strict. Next thing a gigantic german woman in a leather apron with a whip appeared behind me and began to shout...
no, i'll stop that idea now.
Conversation overheard via a cubicle wall: "Hey, is HippyWithABeerGut.com taken, yet?" (I love the 'yet')
If life is a spectator sport, where's my hotdog?
Recurrent thoughts concerning the RayChen v MSDN non-debate (I should article-ize this)
"People who like to bet the farm are more interested in betting than farming".
Quick Recommendations
A nice idea at Adtmag:
The Lunch Break Series.
"Portable, Convenient and on Demand: Download an anthology of technology-specific articles in ONE manageable PDF document."
Goals are Important. My new goal is to be listed on the Massless link page
Thank you!
I've now got a G-Mail account, thanks to Joseph Scott. What a champion!
Read On...
Thu, 26 Aug 2004 21:41:16 GMT
I demonstrated Lutz Roeder's Reflector to a colleague yesterday.
The response was classic and very true.
His eyes shifted side-to-side in alarm.
"Holy
f*ck," he whispered, "
Is this common knowledge?"
If you haven't tinkered with it yet, then please tinker.
If you don't know what Lutz Roeder's Reflector is -- well. It 'decompiles' any .net 'exe' or 'dll' into perfectly legible C#, or VB.net or Intermediate Language or even Delphi.net. All in a handy 0.3 Meg download. Wow.
Read On...
Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:46:59 GMT
Executives and CEOs lose hours every day formatting their documents.
And this sick trend is only growing worse.
Average Number of Executive Hours wasted messing with formatting per week
| Year | Average # Wasted Hours per week |
|---|
| 1997 | | (0.5) |  |
| 1998 | | (1.0) | |
| 1999 | | (1.3) | |
| 2000 | | (5.9) | |
| 2001 | | (6.5) | |
| 2002 | | (6.8) | |
| 2003 | | (8.1) | |
| 2004 | | (14.3) | |
Documentosis Affects Everyone
All too often, office-johnnies and cubicle-janes are called upon by CEOs to rescue sick documents.
Moribund documents whose basic formatting has been tortured, corrupted and pillaged for the loathsome pleasure of a fiddling CEO.
Alignment, margins, layout, spelling, formatting: no property is safe from the tweakings of these control-freak apex-predators.
And just as vampirism predominates at night, so Documentosis builds to a climax in the hours that precede a board meeting.
Read On...
Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:20:06 GMT
From CNET, news.com:
A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.
Thanks to Tejas Patel
Read On...
Tue, 24 Aug 2004 23:06:42 GMT
Over-use of the company email by certain employees has led to the need for yet another Outlook rule.
I've got thirty-seven and a half rules like this now.
Read On...
Fri, 20 Aug 2004 03:33:49 GMT
Pasting a regular expression into MSN Messenger can have unexpected though amusing results:
[Regex courtesy of regexlib.com]
Read On...
Fri, 20 Aug 2004 02:54:49 GMT
Defined on http://hardbutnot.blogspot.com/
Mobilion number- An integer which only becomes interesting when typed into a *spell-as-you-go* mobile telephone.
example: 34789 739 233428
Read On...
Thu, 19 Aug 2004 21:49:03 GMT
Pronounces "login" as "Lodge-in" and spells it "Logg Inn."
Refers to a "password" as a "you know, secret code word."
Read On...
Thu, 19 Aug 2004 04:29:55 GMT
I had a flick through a book called "The Non-Designer's Design Book (2nd Edition)" by Robin Williams, and it's a killer.
I like art. But writing about art, is normally just utter shite. And writing about commerical graphic design is even worse.
Robin's book however...
Read On...
Fri, 13 Aug 2004 02:15:49 GMT
Someone asked me "is there a way to nest Enums in .Net?" This crazy tree-of-life example is what i came up with... anyone got a better idea?
Read On...
Thu, 12 Aug 2004 23:58:42 GMT
Dim Name As String = Person.Name
Dim Name As String
Name = Person.Name
[Hint: which is easier to debug?]
Read On...
Fri, 30 Jul 2004 04:31:15 GMT
I don't ordinarily subscribe to any judeo-christian hocus-pocus.
But i have a vague feeling that when programmers die they are made to spend many centuries in a purgatorial-place, as punishment for all the bad code, the slow code, the sloppy code, the unmaintainable code...
Read On...
Fri, 30 Jul 2004 00:59:08 GMT
Can you match the Mike to the Blog?
Read On...
Thu, 29 Jul 2004 22:14:14 GMT
They say that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery. And I'm a little flattered that I've been plagiarised, but mostly I'm just annoyed.
Some dirty pretender...
Read On...
Thu, 29 Jul 2004 00:45:33 GMT
If you've ever needed to know exactly how many eggs my brother John collects from his hens in any given week -- wonder no more!
John's Hen Monitoring web site gives you a graphical display of the weekly egg output.
The man is rich in eggs.
It's reminiscent of...
Read On...
Wed, 28 Jul 2004 04:44:52 GMT
Are you grumpy about debugging? Sick of staggering blindly up and down the stack?
...StackStumbler
StackStumbler helps you view multiple levels of the stack at once... and helps you answer the ancient philosophical question "Why am I here?"
(continues...)
Read On...
Tue, 20 Jul 2004 23:51:14 GMT
Where is Steve Lombardi? It's not something I've ever needed to know -- but if i want to know, i just have to go to the where is steve web page. I can see his location, live, on a map, at any time. Pretty clever stuff, based on MS MapPoint.
But Who is Steve Lombardi? Well that's a tricky question. I'm certain he's a very intelligent man. But based on this interview i found, i could equally well conclude that he is a crazy nut case.
(continues)
Read On...
Tue, 20 Jul 2004 22:16:23 GMT
I must grab someone by the throat and squeeze their neck so hard inside my steely grip that their blood supply is stopped, and their brain starves and gets dead. I need to pick up a hammer and smash someone across the face with it. The next person I see, they're gonna cop it.... and when they ask me why I did it, when the judges and the juries get out their pencils and prepare to take notes on the mind of a madman, a killer -- I will point to the system I am migrating data out of... I will point to this system, 'LOOK!' I will say. I will show them how this system worked, show them what the previous developer did, and then the people will understand... It's okay they will say, no wonder you went on a psychotic rampage. Migrating data out of that must have been terrible. Tell us again secretgeek, tell us what it was he did?
He has a foreign key that points to a non-primary key.
Wait a second -- are you sure? Do you realise the implications?
(it gets worse i'm afraid)
Read On...
Wed, 14 Jul 2004 03:58:08 GMT
Technically, this does not seem possible.
You attend a two day course -- and they give you a pen to use.
The pen is a beauty. It looks nice. It works well.
Everyone's happy. No one gets hurt.
The course finishes and you pocket the pen. Naturally.
Next day, the pen stops working.
I can't find any kind of microchip inside it. And it doesn't seem to be out of ink.
Yet they do this trick every time I get a free pen!
Explain that, ye wise blog-reading public.
Read On...
Tue, 06 Jul 2004 01:49:24 GMT
Maintaining a technical library in your office can elevate more than just your mind. What book do you use to prop up your monitor?
It's important to find the fattest book, giving the most lift, which is used least frequently, resulting in the least disturbance.
The general solution to the Monitor-Prop problem can be found by seeking a maximum to this equation:
Read On...
Tue, 06 Jul 2004 00:20:22 GMT
A colleague said this morning "I try to steer clear of triggers"
Part of me immediately thought: "That's stupid! Triggers are powerful and they should be used wherever they're the best tool."
But then a calm inner-voice rose up and reminded me of the dangers of triggers:
"With great power comes great responsibility."
(more on trigger-thinking...)
Read On...
Sun, 04 Jul 2004 20:47:12 GMT
A fantastic result for Greece in the Euro Cup. It's impossible not to be happy for them.
Several hundred cheering Greek Australians surrounded my bus in the city this morning. Any boss who fires a Greek for celebrating today instead of working, is a right bastard.
Just busy cleaning certain jokes out of my mental cache, for example:
Q: Why can't Greece ever win a game of football?
A: Because every time they get a corner they build a fruitshop.
Such thoughts have no place in my mind anymore.
Good work Greece; Bring on the Olympics!
Read On...
Sun, 27 Jun 2004 11:52:11 GMT
I've caught a strong case of the Scobles.
Thanks Robert -- now I almost feel bad about referring to you as "the blogging-equivalent of a hyperactive, ginger-haired tap-dancing 10-year-old".
Welcome to any visitors who've arrived via Robert.
Read On...
Fri, 25 Jun 2004 00:31:09 GMT
Just as Radio Disc-Jockeys secretly long to be Musicians, so System Administrators secretly long to be Software Developers.
Read On...
Thu, 24 Jun 2004 01:21:41 GMT
In which I commit the cardinal sin of criticising Joel 'My Hero' Spolsky.
[continues...]
Read On...
Wed, 23 Jun 2004 11:05:43 GMT
crap wot's on my mind
Read On...
Wed, 23 Jun 2004 10:06:11 GMT
Joel is asking, (ostensibly on behalf of the WHATWG) what new features will allow HTML4 to make better web applications.
To try and fix a stake in the shifting sands, i'd like to propose a milestone for measuring 'better' web applications.
Web applications will be better when you can write (and deploy to all competing new browsers) compelling implementations of all of the following:
- A spreadsheet
- A paint program
- A wysiwyg word processor
- An integrated development environment
[continues]
Read On...
Wed, 23 Jun 2004 02:04:48 GMT
Free Prizes for the Taking!
Roy's Gettin' Cranky! Only TEN people have entered the VS.Net Add-in competition he's hosting.
Given the low number of entries, and the excellent prizes, the expected Return on Investment (or 'Return to Player' in gambling parlance) is very very high.
If you know how to write a VS.net add-in, (however simple), whack it together and send it in!
Read On...
Wed, 23 Jun 2004 01:06:33 GMT
I'm slowly adding more features to this website. Last month I changed the format so that comments appear at the bottom of each article, rather than in their own page. Now your comments are much more likely to be seen.
But I'm not resting there. No siree. What I'm interested in is backwards-compatability. What if your browser is offline? Or not internet-enabled? Thanks to a quite complicated network of postal services throughout the world, you can now leave a comment no matter what.
To leave a special backwards-compatible comment, please print out the form below, write your message on it by hand, put it inside an envelope, affix postage-stamps and send it to:
Leon Bambrick
c/o PO Box 551
Indooroopilly Qld 4068
AUSTRALIA
Read On...
Fri, 18 Jun 2004 01:47:51 GMT
David Truxal points out how Visual Studio Hampers VB.Net
This again brings to mind a quote from Simpson's episode "You Only Move Twice", where Bart is stuck in a remedial class:
Teacher: Okay. Now, everyone take
out your safety pencil and a
circle of paper. This week, I
hope we can finish our work on
the letter "A".
Bart: Let me get this straight.
We're behind the rest of our
class and we're going to
catch up to them by going
slower than they are?
[making "crazy" gesture]
Cuckoo.
Kids: [imitating him] Cuckoo.
Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.
Read On...
Thu, 17 Jun 2004 03:38:38 GMT
(don't you hate it when you think of a y2k parody five years too late?)The IT world is in shock today, after an amended piece of legislature officially classified homosexual males as a new, third, gender.
Chongo-developers and cowboy-hackers who previously hard-coded only two genders into their applications are now reaping the benefits as they are called out of retirement to alter software algorithms written as many as forty years ago.
Database Administrators throughout the Nation are swinging into action adding the new row to their lookup tables, or dropping and recreating CHECK constraints.
Meanwhile, the Association of Future-Proof Software, who have long advocated the inclusion of three 'Spare' entries at the end of every look up table, have issued a steady stream of smug press releases.
Read On...
Thu, 17 Jun 2004 03:36:07 GMT
Do this and you can be legally shot:
Dim myCmd as SqlCommand
myCmd.Commandtext = "Select * from Users where " & _
"Username = '" & txtUserName.text & "'" & _
" and Password = '" & txtPassword.Text & "'"
So do this instead, at the **absolute** minimum:
Read On...
Tue, 15 Jun 2004 05:36:22 GMT
In a stunning backdown by Microsoft, a new single-developer edition of Visual Studio has been announced which specifically includes support for Test Driven Development.
While the blogging community are rejoicing that they have forced the software-giant's hand, some analysts fear that this new sense of power amongst bloggers could corrupt them in the same way that a young Anakin Skywalker was corrupted by the 'force'.
Read On...
Fri, 11 Jun 2004 04:48:54 GMT
- CPresson
- Grant Queenin
- Lance Ahlberg
Thanks to those who sent me answers...
Sorry the winnners weren't announced sooner: this entry was written, but lost, during the moved from the previous domain.
Read On...
Fri, 11 Jun 2004 04:03:20 GMT
An obese private school boy, aged fifteen, who purchased a large Slurpee and two chocolate bars from seven-eleven about five minutes ago, using a National Australia Bank Eftpos Card, after pushing past me, has the Personal Identification Number '2-7-5-1'.
This information, broadcast via the boy's habit of mouthing the numbers while he typed them, could be of benefit to Australian thieves, should they happen to snatch a keycard from an obese private school student in the Brisbane area. His rich parents are certain to have stuffed his bank account as full of money as he subsequently stuffed his face.
If you are a thief, mugger, pick-pocket or burglar, the following artist's rendition of the child may help you to identify him:
Note that the artist (using creature house expression 3, from microsoft, beta version of a vector based drawing program, a free download) utterly failed to capture the slack jaw, the vacant stare, the sluggish eyebrows, the second and third chins, the puffy lips, or the smell.
I wish you good luck, Thieves of Australia, and I sincerely hope that he, and those like him, will refrain from pushing past other customers of the 7-11 in future. ;+)
Read On...
Thu, 10 Jun 2004 22:35:17 GMT
Larry O'Brien mentions that he'd include "Code Complete, 2nd Edition" in the gift bag he’d give to new programmers.
I agree, but must add a few ingredients to that gift bag...
Read On...
Tue, 08 Jun 2004 00:37:16 GMT
A master procrastinator presents the solution.
Read On...
Mon, 07 Jun 2004 21:23:46 GMT
If you need to store and retrieves dates as string (in a CSV file, for example), here's one way to handle it (in VB.net).
(And if you know a better way -- please show me)
Read On...
Mon, 07 Jun 2004 05:18:05 GMT
After hearing about VOIP for years, we've now got it in my office!
The installation was painless, the ease of use is high, and the benefits seem to be many. (e.g. inter-state calls get routed through our WAN, to cut down costs, internal PC support staff can do what previously required PABX technician call-out fees, integration with the desktop PC is brilliant and so on.)
We've passed the peak of hyperbole, coasted over the gulf of dissappointment and we're finally onto the plateau of utilisation. Ahh, techno-cycles.
(facts: our VOIP hardware is Cisco, and everything was handled by Australian VOIP Legends Data#3 (nice bunch o'folks they are too).
[Disclosure: if you buy off them and mention my name, i may get a bottle of wine three Christmases from now, referer programs not being what they were.]
Read On...
Tue, 01 Jun 2004 00:06:35 GMT
Special guest Cornelius Krundaloopha would like to share with you his efforts to acquire the Longhorn build of Windows.
If you want to get your hands on a long horn, all I can say is "fat chance".
Mr Gates, he does not give his long horn to just anybody.
I told my girl friend, "all i want for my birthday is a long horn." she nodded and said "you and me both, honey." which is odd cause she doesn't normally like the computers so much.
She must have forgot what i asked for though because all she got me was some Chinese pills and a brochure about a operation i don't want to discuss right now.
(Continues... )
Read On...
Sun, 30 May 2004 07:49:12 GMT
Rest In Peace, Loki Hennessey, Goddess of Mischief. Beloved family pet, ever playful, would turn thrice on the spot before sitting or lying. May 1990 - May 2004.
Read On...
Fri, 28 May 2004 02:17:06 GMT
Three things I'm convinced about thanks to Mike Gunderloy's Coder To Developer
- Break Mile-Stones into Inch-Pebbles, if you're serious about your schedule.
- Give Test Driven Development another, fairer go.
- Find and Use the best tools available, such as Lutz Roeders reflector and XDN (which Mike Schinkel is giving away free in May, to .net bloggers who spread the good word).
When I finish the book I plan to review it fully. For now let me say this: it is broad, it is thorough, it is useful and it is refreshingly small. It's not one of those big-fat-books-you-stick-on-the-shelf-in-order-to-appear-smart. Coder To Developer is one of those slimmer, well-thumbed books you use every day to actually become smart.
Read On...
Thu, 27 May 2004 09:12:08 GMT
.Net Developers throughout the Australian landmass have just received their free MSDN connection welcome packs. This includes a free magazine of your choice (provided your choice is ".net asia", that is) and a letter from the new author of the MSDN Flash newsletter, Caroline Price, presumably written between bouts of hang-gliding, bungee jumping and so on.
There's also a rather rakish identification card (not photographic, god bless) you can use to earn geek-reward-points. Though my favourite thing is the poster of namespaces from the .net framework.
I think that bribing developers is an excellent idea. Future bribery should include a free tablet PC, a free iPod (not very microsoft, i know) and a free visit to Redmond. I respond well to Gadgets, Sweet Food, Caffeine-Products, Beer and Holidays. I also accept t-shirts. Medium.
The MSDN Connection bribery programme is an initiative by Microsoft to build up developer user groups and communities, and has the blessing of ineta.
Another good resource for Australian .Net Developers is Frank Arrigo's blog where he maintains a list of aussie .net bloggers.
While I'm on the Australia thing, the site superior software for windows is geek bliss, largely due to the work of Adam Cogan.
(end of this waffle.)
Read On...
secretGeek .:dotnuts about dotnet:.
Coding Koan: the power of one
The Best Software Writing I
The Business Of Software (Eric Sink)
bookmark at Del.icio.us!
reddit this